Considering doing an intervention on a loved one is fraught with emotion. The desire or need to do an intervention always comes after (or during) a crisis. If you are considering an intervention, think no further – your loved one needs help – and it has become your calling to step in and offer a lifeline. The truth is that your loved one is probably desperate for help.
For you to be helpful, you have to learn a lot and learn it fast. We have created resources to help educate you and lay out a path for you. This course is broken down into 19 short videos and text to accompany each lesson. By going through these videos, you will be preparing yourself to plan for a treatment center placement, addressing your loved one with compassion, and supporting long term change.
Addiction causes chaos, to navigate out of the chaos there needs to be a plan. Families that take time to educate themselves on addiction, and follow a path, always have success at changing the current situation for the better.
Adam Banks is a certified interventionist and the owner ofAdam Banks Recovery. After receiving an MBA from the University of Chicago, Adam built a company acquired by United Health Care. His discipline and attention to detail comes from his former career as an airline pilot, holding an ATP, the FAA’s highest license.
Today, Adam is dedicated to helping others achieve long-term sobriety. His work has guided executives, pilots, and physicians on paths to recovery. Adam brings families together through a loving and inclusive approach. Adam has authored four books on addiction. His recent work, Navigating Recovery Ground School: 12 Lessons to Help Families Navigate Recovery, educates families on the entire intervention process. He also offers afree video course for families considering an intervention for a loved one.
Adam is available for alcohol and drug intervention services in New York, Long Island, the Hamptons as well as nationally and internationally.
I use The Cell Phone analogy as an exercise with families to build their compassion and understanding for how an addicted person feels during an intervention. Think for a minute about me taking away your cell phone. Our behaviors and habits create anxiety similar to addiction.
We often don’t realize how strong an addiction is until we face the world “sober.” These instances cause instant panic.
Although it’s possible, it’s hard to imagine life without the addiction.
After treatment it takes work to learn how to navigate life and social experiences without a crutch.
Triggers and other circumstances elevate the risk of relapse at any time. It’s critical that those in long term recovery anticipate these challenges.
Taking Away the Cell Phone
Most people have a minor (or maybe full-blown) addiction to their phone. The second I realize my phone is missing, I turn into a rabid addict, digging through couch cushions and looking underneath the seats of my car, probably several times. Without my phone in my hand, it is nearly impossible for me to maintain my peace of mind.
I try to look calm and collected when it’s missing, unbothered, but it’s only a matter of a few minutes before I have a total meltdown where I’m frantically pacing around my house and blaming others for my issue. It’s all I can think about when it’s missing, and the second I find it, I feel momentary relief. I need this phone.
Imagine if I pulled you into a room where all of your loved ones were sitting down, and I asked (or demanded) that you give up your cell phone. In a dramatic fashion, we tell you how your cell phone use hurts us, how each minute you’re on your phone is robbing us of time we want to spend with you.
Intervention
We approach you with compassion because we know yelling at you will only incite an argument. We take our time showing you the negative impact of your phone. You reluctantly agree, the phone has taken over your life.
Imagine your phone was confiscated today with no promise of it being returned. Would your feelings match any of the ones listed below?
Anxiety that something important was gone from your life.
A physical sense that something was missing from your hand.
Fear of missing out on an important text or email.
Concerned that the dreadful feelings will never go away.
An inability to function in the world without a phone.
Anger at the person who took your phone away.
For most people in society, life without a cell phone feels unimaginable. Think of the anxiety you would have going phone-sober. Some of us have lived without a cell phone before, we would have to dust off our cell-phone less life skills, others have never lived without a mobile phone, they can’t even comprehend this new life.
Life without a Mobile Phone
Take your phone sobriety a step further, now imagine “going sober” from your phone, and you set out to be cell phone abstinent for a year. You have a lot of work to do in the first month, you need to call the phone company and get a landline installed, you need to find a phone book, you need to get a handwritten address book, and ask people what their number is, so you can write it down. Oh, and you will need to figure out how to work a fax machine.
You will have to constantly explain to friends that you no longer text. You feel you will be letting them down, as they enjoyed texting with you over the years and now have trouble communicating with you. Your best friends might even pressure you to use your phone again. But you’re committed, you’re going to stay phone-sober.
Adapting to a new Lifestyle
The first month will be hard and filled with anxiety. In your second and third months of being phone-sober, you might calm down a bit, you’re over the anger, and you’re mostly committed to being phone sober, but many days, it feels like it would just be easier to go back to using a cell phone. “Everyone else is doing it” you explain.
This phone analogy is relatable and gives people a better understanding of addiction. The situation is far-fetched, yet it is a direct reflection of the experience and emotions our loved one feels on their journey to recovery. Use this analogy to put yourself in the place of the AP so that you can enter the intervention process with understating and compassion.
My Real Experience with the Mobile Phone Analogy
I went to a 5-day retreat a few years back, and I had to give up my phone. After the retreat I didn’t use my phone as much, I remember thinking how much extra time I had. For a few weeks after that phone detox, I was able to devote my attention to people and things without looking down at the phone. I enjoyed removing my reliance on a phone to feel okay. I am sure that if I committed to going phone-sober, after a few months, I would likely be totally happy in my new way of life. You know how my story ends, after a few weeks, I fully relapsed and have been using my phone the same as I always have. The experience really makes the cell phone analogy hit home.
About Adam Banks
Adam Banks is a certified interventionist and the owner ofAdam Banks Recovery. After receiving an MBA from the University of Chicago, Adam built a company acquired by United Health Care. His discipline and attention to detail comes from his former career as an airline pilot, holding an ATP, the FAA’s highest license.
Today, Adam is dedicated to helping others achieve long-term sobriety. His work has guided executives, pilots, and physicians on paths to recovery. Adam brings families together through a loving and inclusive approach. Adam has authored four books on addiction. His recent work, Navigating Recovery Ground School: 12 Lessons to Help Families Navigate Recovery, educates families on the entire intervention process. He also offers afree video course for families considering an intervention for a loved one.
Adam is available for alcohol and drug intervention services in New York, Long Island, the Hamptons as well as nationally and internationally.
Recovery happens when a structured plan is followed over a period of time. We will look at the different options of facility placement including residential treatment, detox, and intensive outpatient treatment.
Residential treatment is an ideal option for recovery. There are many different types of treatment centers, choosing the best option for your loved one will ensure success.
Detox is a short term residential option that typically lasts three days to a week. Depending on the AP’s level of use, this type of medical attention may be necessary.
An Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) is an option for those seeking treatment outside of a residential program. Although it does not require leaving home, it demands a great deal of work including meetings and therapies that account for at least 11 hours a week.
Residential Treatment
When considering facility placement, residential treatment is the fastest way to ensure positive change. The family has already been through many empty promises to cut back, only to fall in the cycle of addiction again. The promise to change after an intervention will only last a few days. It is best to seize the moment that the AP agrees to get help and get them secure in a residential program.
There are many programs across the country with a wide array of approaches to treatment. Research needs to be done to find the best program for your loved one. This includes consideration of their personality, desires, psychiatric issues, and financial capabilities. Only performing a Google search is not the best way to find a treatment center. This is a time when you need to seek out professional guidance for the optimal treatment program.
Residential treatment may be the only option if an addicted person does not live in a stable environment. It is likely stress levels are high at home, stepping out of the home and living in residential might be the only option to get started on the right foot.
Considering Rehab For Facility Placement
While most people dread the thought of going to inpatient treatment, we often find that afterward, they look back on rehab as one of the best things that they did. In life, we rarely get an opportunity to take 30 days off, just for ourselves, to focus on our mental health. The opportunity is too good to not offer it to your AP.
Choosing a treatment program needs to start with finances. Most insurances cover inpatient treatment. Treatment centers differ in what insurance they accept. Begin with your loved one’s insurance ID card and ask several treatment centers to run the benefits of that specific insurance.
Your loved one will have hesitation about going to an inpatient facility. The family should consider what objections the addicted person will have such child or pet care, pet care and work obligations. List all the potential objections and work through them before the intervention.
Detox
Detox is a short residential level of care. It might not be safe to wean off of drugs or alcohol without medical (physician) supervision. Detox is typically 3 days to a week, depending on the AP’s pattern of use in the weeks leading up to check in. If the AP has had seizures in the past while using, medical detox is required. Most residential treatment programs (rehabs) offer detox on sight.
A stand-alone detox is an option if the AP has a strong and legitimate at-home plan for recovery. A detox on-site at a residential program is preferred, as people that complete detox often want to return home and are unlikely to go on to a 28-day residential program once discharged.
IOP
There are alternative options to facility placement. Intensive Outpatient Treatment (IOP) is a structured program for recovery that typically runs for 6 weeks. IOP consists of meetings, group therapy, and private sessions with a psychiatrist and therapist. Many people find that IOP is a better option than residential, as they don’t have to take 30 days out of their life and can continue working. There is minimal transition back to “real life” upon discharge.
The addicted person will always choose this option during an intervention because it seems like minimal commitment. It is best to not lead with this option in an intervention, as the AP might see this as an “easy way out.” The family gets their hopes up, and two weeks later, they learn that the AP is not attending the IOP. An out-patent program might not give the family what they need, stability and trust. We assess the living situation of the AP when determining if an IOP will be successful. If the AP’s home life is stressful, or there is a lot of use in the house, IOP may not be effective.
Detoxing before IOP
IOP’s will not accept someone that is actively drinking, a stand-alone detox is the ideal entry point into an IOP. The family must create benchmarks (i.e. “if you continue to drink after 1 week, it means that IOP is not intense enough, and you agree to enter into residential treatment”). Starting with IOP is excellent, as it expands the team of people working with the addicted person. IOP is very successful. They are always recommended after residential treatment to help get the AP into their second and third months of recovery.
About Adam Banks
Adam Banks is a certified interventionist and the owner ofAdam Banks Recovery. After receiving an MBA from the University of Chicago, Adam built a company acquired by United Health Care. His discipline and attention to detail comes from his former career as an airline pilot, holding an ATP, the FAA’s highest license.
Today, Adam is dedicated to helping others achieve long-term sobriety. His work has guided executives, pilots, and physicians on paths to recovery. Adam brings families together through a loving and inclusive approach. Adam has authored four books on addiction. His recent work, Navigating Recovery Ground School: 12 Lessons to Help Families Navigate Recovery, educates families on the entire intervention process. He also offers afree video course for families considering an intervention for a loved one.
Adam is available for alcohol and drug intervention services in New York, Long Island, the Hamptons as well as nationally and internationally.
The road to recovery can feel daunting for your loved one. They will be facing the fear of both success and failure. They will deal with the anxiety of replacing old habits and the possibility of a relapse. Substance use has been a form of security for them. We must walk with our loved one and take sobriety one moment at a time. This removes anxiety over the unknown, relieving recovery fear.
The AP is dropping their shield of addiction. They will feel vulnerable and overwhelmed by the idea of living sober. We must show them that success is possible.
The AP is also facing the anxiety of letting everyone down. This time is different, they have committed to change and have started the work. We cannot allow fear of failure to creep in.
This is a marathon, not a sprint. Take sobriety one moment at a time.
Understand Fear of Success and Failure
Most of your loved one’s reactions towards treatment stem from a place of fear. It’s a completely new environment, filled with unfamiliar faces, routines, and conditions. Anyone would be scared!
Try to understand that the AP is afraid of success and failure, simultaneously. At the point of going to rehab, the thought of going a few days without using is unimaginable. Considering a lifetime without drugs or alcohol is beyond comprehension for the AP. After all, they’ve likely engaged in daily use for years and have never been able to stop using for more than a few days. The AP is also losing a reliable friend, one that they turned to when they were happy and when they were sad. Success means giving up their entire way of life.
An AP is also afraid of failure, a return to use would deplete their self-esteem and let their family down. They want to get better, and feel a sense of pressure to prove it to their family. Going back to old ways after all the work that has been done would be disappointing. Your AP is stuck. Both paths look risky, and just continuing with the status quo of using seems easier and safer.
Empathy is a key virtue during intervention, understanding that the responses from your AP come out of a place of fear and are typically shown outwardly as anger. By understanding recovery fear, you can approach them with compassion, imagine how you would have approached the AP as a fearful 12-year-old and bring that same compassion to them today. An old adage from AA is “one day at a time.” Right now, your loved one needs to take it one minute at a time to fully accept treatment.
About Adam Banks
Adam Banks is a certified interventionist and the owner ofAdam Banks Recovery. After receiving an MBA from the University of Chicago, Adam built a company acquired by United Health Care. His discipline and attention to detail comes from his former career as an airline pilot, holding an ATP, the FAA’s highest license.
Today, Adam is dedicated to helping others achieve long-term sobriety. His work has guided executives, pilots, and physicians on paths to recovery. Adam brings families together through a loving and inclusive approach. Adam has authored four books on addiction. His recent work, Navigating Recovery Ground School: 12 Lessons to Help Families Navigate Recovery, educates families on the entire intervention process. He also offers afree video course for families considering an intervention for a loved one.
Adam is available for alcohol and drug intervention services in New York, Long Island, the Hamptons as well as nationally and internationally.
Move away from thinking that the intervention will be a one off emotional event, and consider intervention to be the entire process laid out in this course. Setting boundaries and expectations allows the family to work together in a supportive way. The experience is fair only when there is complete transparency among the entire network. Addiction thrives on secrecy. The family, including the AP, will unite as a team and begin this journey under an agreed upon contract.
Interventions draw clear lines in the sand.
The family network is completely transparent.
The family acts as board of directors guided by a fair consensus.
The intervention follows a four level process of escalation that ends in a mutual contract to seek treatment.
Intervention is Clear
It’s up to the person of concern if they choose to continue using drugs and alcohol. They must understand that they hold the freedom of that choice. Their decision to use will be met with clearly defined consequences. We hope that these defined consequences will help them understand the severity of their addiction and how it is affecting the people around them and will push them into treatment
Intervention has witnesses
Prior to intervention, each family member may have attempted to draw boundaries on their own. This can be very difficult, especially against a fully developed addiction. The family must make decisions and draw consequences as a whole. Having one person with a contrasting set of boundaries will leave an opening for the addiction to attack. Coming together on one unified front leaves no room for the AP to manipulate the situation. If one person has to set specific boundaries, it is fair that they get to express that to the entire group, so everyone understands.
Intervention is fair
Intervention is fair when both sides are given an opportunity to tell what they need and what they want. A fair path forward is defined when both sides understand each other. The addicted person is free to make their own decision, while the family is justified in setting clear boundaries.
Intervention stops secrets
Prior to intervention, no one person has the entire story and each person is responding to the story that the AP has told them or what they see. Addiction thrives on secrecy and division among the family. While parents talk behind closed doors, siblings and friends keep secrets. Close friends typically know more than others when it comes to the person of concern’s habits. Think how unfair this is to family members, you’re all responding to the situation with partial information fed to you by the AP with the intent of keeping their addiction going. Intervention puts the whole truth onto the table so that addiction cannot play its secrets against the family.
Intervention has consensus
The choice of the AP needs to be acceptable to both sides. It’s common to see the person of concern choosing a path of the least resistance, which comes across as unfair and ineffective to the family. The family will express what they need from the person of concern, the process they expect the AP to follow, and the accountability that the family needs to reestablish trust. Intervention is fair when everyone can reach a consensus.
Intervention establishes a board of directors
Prior to intervention, each member of the family is left to figure out what to do on their own. Intervention is a group effort. It establishes a process for everyone to form a plan as one unit. The results of consequences of voiding this ‘family contract’ are clearly explained when boundaries are presented. It is critical that the group comes to a consensus on every decision. Going rogue will leave room for the addiction to divide and conquer this process.
Intervention Follows a Four Level Process
Interventions that follow a process almost always result in an agreement to seek treatment. We consider interventions to have 4 levels, escalating in intensity. We always want to remain at the least confrontation level. Sometimes we escalate up a level and then return to the lower level once the situation has become contained. The most assertive style of intervention is used as a last resort or in emergency situations.
About Adam Banks
Adam Banks is a certified interventionist and the owner ofAdam Banks Recovery. After receiving an MBA from the University of Chicago, Adam built a company acquired by United Health Care. His discipline and attention to detail comes from his former career as an airline pilot, holding an ATP, the FAA’s highest license.
Today, Adam is dedicated to helping others achieve long-term sobriety. His work has guided executives, pilots, and physicians on paths to recovery. Adam brings families together through a loving and inclusive approach. Adam has authored four books on addiction. His recent work, Navigating Recovery Ground School: 12 Lessons to Help Families Navigate Recovery, educates families on the entire intervention process. He also offers afree video course for families considering an intervention for a loved one.
Adam is available for alcohol and drug intervention services in New York, Long Island, the Hamptons as well as nationally and internationally.
The Stages of Change refer to the thoughts and actions required to choose recovery and enter treatment. To make this big transition, an addicted person is first pre-contemplative, and then contemplative. Once they have thought about recovery, they move onto preparation and action. Finally a maintenance routine is set in place to support long term recovery.
Before considering change, an addicted person experiences the “four R’s” of Pre-contemplation.
When contemplating the AP is still on the fence until they commit the next step.
Preparation begins when they seek the help of a healthcare professional.
Real changes start occurring once action has been taken with the help of a professional.
After treatment, maintenance including coaching and 12 steps programs are necessary components of success.
When we contemplate making a change there is a decision making process that we go through. The best example of this is when we have gotten a bit out of shape and are considering going on a diet or the gym. For a while we think it’s okay to not work out (pre-contemplative), then we consider joining a gym (contemplative). We then go to the gym (action) and finally we become dedicated to our new routines (maintenance).
Reviewing Stages of Change:
1. Pre-contemplation
In the first stages of addiction recovery, a person usually does not consider their behavior to be an issue. At this point, they aren’t interested in hearing advice to quit or being told about potentially harmful side effects. We have all experienced this person. We know if we mention that they have a problem, they will ‘blow up’. This knee-jerk response is an indication that they are pre-contemplative.
Pre-contemplation takes several forms:
Reluctance: Lack awareness of their problem, as well as the motivation to change.
Rebellious: Do not want to let go of their addictive behavior because they do not like being told what to do.
Resigned: Overwhelmed by their addictive behavior that they’ve given up hope for the possibility of change.
Rationalizing: Think they have all the answers and have reasons why substance use isn’t an issue for them.
2. Contemplation
Contemplators have realized that they have a problem. They may want to change, but do not feel like they can fully commit to it. In this stage, a person is often more receptive to learning about the potential consequences of their behavior and the different options available.
However, they are still only contemplating. They haven’t yet made a change by committing to a specific strategy. The contemplation stage can last for years, oscillating between pre-contemplation and preparation.
3. Preparation
A person is committed and ready to take some actions. They actively research their problem, and research options for a cure. They might meet with a healthcare professional to assess where they are and determine options for a long-term treatment plan or attend some meetings.
4. Action
Real change starts at this stage.
A plan of action has been put into place, and the person in recovery knows that they must do the work that is required. They are no longer just considering change. They want to make change as fast as possible.
5. Maintenance
It takes time and effort to sustain any change. In the maintenance stage, a person begins to adapt to their new substance-free lifestyle. As they build momentum, reverting to old habits gradually becomes less of a threat.
Sometimes the best intervention is one in which we work one-on-one with the person of concern. A traditional placement in rehab is not always right for everyone. There are many options for recovery, and exploring these with the person of concern allows them to be in charge of their recovery.
Recovery coaching is helpful as:
An alternative to inpatient residential treatment
A way to get back on track after relapse
A structured after care plan after residential treatment
An additional way to strengthen mutual-aid self-help groups
Recovery coaching focuses on these principles:
Future-Focused: Navigate the present, and set goals for the future
Professional Guidance: Follow proven plans with our 30- and 90-day programs
Accountability: Reinforce accountability through meetings, phone calls, and homework
Build on 12 Steps: Strengthen other programs with which you may be involved
Real-Life: Learn how to stay sober in the actual environments where you live and work
Most people respond very well to coaching interventions and many people can avoid in-patient treatment with daily accountability and connecting to the proper resources. You have the power to live a better life, let us guide you there. By understanding the stages of change, we will develop a plan that greatly increases your chances of succeeding.
About Adam Banks
Adam Banks is a certified interventionist and the owner ofAdam Banks Recovery. After receiving an MBA from the University of Chicago, Adam built a company acquired by United Health Care. His discipline and attention to detail comes from his former career as an airline pilot, holding an ATP, the FAA’s highest license.
Today, Adam is dedicated to helping others achieve long-term sobriety. His work has guided executives, pilots, and physicians on paths to recovery. Adam brings families together through a loving and inclusive approach. Adam has authored four books on addiction. His recent work, Navigating Recovery Ground School: 12 Lessons to Help Families Navigate Recovery, educates families on the entire intervention process. He also offers afree video course for families considering an intervention for a loved one.
Adam is available for alcohol and drug intervention services in New York, Long Island, the Hamptons as well as nationally and internationally.
I think conducting a formal intervention is a very important part of dealing with a loved one’s addiction. We don’t know if they are going to recover, but by doing an intervention and by sticking with the intervention process for several months, families can be assured that they tried everything they could to help.
In recovery I have been able to do some amazing things. I adopted two children from Colombia, graduated from a top business school, and I started and sold a successful company. Getting sober has been, without a doubt, that one best accomplishments of my life.
