Mastering Recovery: 5 Strategies for Sobriety & Success

Mastering Recovery: 5 Strategies to Sobriety & Success

5 Strategies for Sobriety & Success

The college experience is often synonymous with freedom, exploration, and self-discovery. For many, it’s a time filled with social gatherings, late-night parties, and an abundance of opportunities to indulge in the temptations that surround us. I was well into my recovery journey when I decided to get  my master’s degree. My sponsor urged me to aim high and work hard; if I could master sobriety I could take on any graduate program; and I was accepted to the University of Chicago. As I reflect on my own journey, I am compelled to share the story of how sobriety became a catalyst for personal growth, resilience, and the cultivation of authentic connections amidst the vibrant chaos of college life. Earning a graduate degree and mastering recovery is possible if you follow these 5 strategies for sobriety and success. 

Establish a Strong Support System

One of the most crucial aspects of maintaining sobriety in college is building a supportive network around you. Seek out like-minded individuals who share your commitment to sobriety. This can be achieved by joining campus organizations or clubs centered around activities that do not involve alcohol or drugs, such as athletic teams, volunteer groups, or academic societies. Surrounding yourself with individuals who understand and respect your choices will provide a sense of community and make it easier to resist peer pressure. I found that when you seek out clubs that are focused around your area of study, people are committed to the content and substance use is typically not a part of the network. 

Utilize Campus Resources

Colleges and universities often offer a variety of resources aimed at supporting students’ well-being. Take advantage of counseling services, support groups, and substance-free events provided by your institution. These resources can provide a safe space to share your experiences, seek advice, and connect with others who are also on a sober journey. Additionally, many campuses have student health centers that provide confidential counseling and medical assistance for substance-related issues. Reach out to these professionals whenever you need guidance or support. These people are there to help you, and you don’t need to be in a dire situation to utilize resources made available to you. 

Engage in Healthy Activities

Filling your schedule with healthy and fulfilling activities is an effective way to stay sober in college. Engage in regular exercise, as physical activity has been shown to improve mood and reduce cravings. Join a gym or participate in intramural sports to keep yourself active and meet new friends who share your interest in a healthy lifestyle. Explore hobbies and interests outside of the party scene. Whether it’s painting, writing, playing an instrument, or any other creative outlet, these activities can provide a sense of fulfillment and help distract you from the temptation of substance use.

The great thing about being on a college campus is that there is always something to do. If you fill your time with substance free activities, you won’t have time for anything else. Additionally, there are AA meetings everywhere, including your college campus. Attending a program is often a nice break from studying. 

Plan Ahead for Social Events

Attending social events can be daunting when you’re trying to stay sober. However, with proper planning and preparation, you can navigate these situations successfully. Before heading to a party or gathering, consider driving yourself or arranging a safe and sober ride home. Offer to be the designated driver for your friends. This will reinforce your commitment to sobriety and allow you to contribute positively to the group. Additionally, have a few non-alcoholic drink options in mind. 

You can always fall back on your need to get more rest or study time in. There is no need to apologize for dipping out of an event when you start to feel overwhelmed. Learning the art of the “Irish goodbye” and leaving without notice is a perfectly fine way to step away from potential substance use. 

Seek Professional Help When Needed

Finally, if you’re struggling with maintaining sobriety in college, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Substance abuse counselors, therapists, or addiction specialists can provide the guidance and tools necessary to overcome challenges and build a solid foundation for long-term recovery. Reach out to your college’s counseling center or consult with your primary care physician for referrals to qualified professionals. At Adam Banks Recovery, we can assess your situation and point you in the right direction. I certainly understand how it feels to balance the pressures of graduate school and sobriety. 

While staying sober in college can be demanding, it is certainly achievable with the right strategies in place. Surrounding yourself with a supportive network, utilizing campus resources, engaging in healthy activities, planning for social events, and seeking professional help when needed are all effective ways to ensure a successful and sober college experience. Remember, your decision to stay sober is a powerful one, and it will pave the way for a brighter future filled with personal growth and academic success. These “wins” in life prove that your recovery will be followed by success. 

 

About Adam Banks

Adam Banks is a certified interventionist and the owner of Adam Banks Recovery. After receiving an MBA from the University of Chicago, Adam built a company acquired by United Health Care. His discipline and attention to detail come from his former career as an airline pilot, holding an ATP, the FAA’s highest license.

Today, Adam is dedicated to helping others achieve long-term sobriety. His work has guided executives, pilots, and physicians on paths to recovery. Adam brings families together through a loving and inclusive approach. Adam has authored four books on addiction. His recent work, Navigating Recovery Ground School: 12 Lessons to Help Families Navigate Recovery, educates families on the entire intervention process. He also offers a free video course for families considering an intervention for a loved one.

Adam is available for alcohol and drug intervention services in New York, Long Island, and the Hamptons as well as nationally and internationally.

The Potato Chip: Can They Ever Drink Again?

The Potato Chip: Can She Ever Drink Again?

The Big Question

‘The Potato Chip’ is a response to a question that I get from every family and addicted person. They always ask, “Can they ever drink again?”

We don’t really know if someone can return to drinking. That is a decision that will be made down the line, in early recovery. There should be a commitment to abstinence. It is safe to assume that returning to use is a bad idea. Most successful people need to be completely abstinent.

The Potato Chip

Let’s draw an analogy to something that we all have experienced. The lowly potato chip.

I can go months and months without thinking about eating a potato chip.  That is until I walk by the big back of salt and vinegar chips at Costco.  In a split second, I justify to myself why I should be the bag, ‘The kids are coming this weekend’ or ‘I will get them for BBQ hamburgers’. 

I have already told myself a lie or I made a veiled attempt to justify my purchase.

Once the bag of chips is on my kitchen counter, I begin to think about chips more and more, I start to crave them.  I know chips are bad for me, but man-o-man, I want one.

A Small Concession

“I will just have one”, is the lie that I tell myself.  The second I have one, that bag is going to be half-eaten.  I have one, and I can’t stop, I will eat as many as are on my plate, I will eat a quarter of the bag. I may try to stop after taking a nibble and stepping away for a while. However, all I can think about is potato chips. Like an animal eating a raw stack, I need more chips and it’s all I can think about.

I return to the panty, careful to open the bag without anyone else seeing me, and I eat a bowlful of chips.

Once I had the first chip, my obsession, and cravings for chips reignited.  Once I have one chip, I can’t really tell you what I will do next, I might stop at one, or I might finish an entire bag.

From Snack to Obsession

Potato chips are designed to be addictive, and the crunch, taste, fat content, and salt; millions of dollars of research have been put into chips to make them addictive.  Our minds stand no chance of overcoming the addictiveness of a chips recipe.

Having one drink of alcohol is much like attempting to have one potato chip.  Once the door opens, I have triggered a craving response in me that I can’t control. For me, it is safer to never attempt having “just one drink”.  I bet I would have one the first day, and after a few days, I would be obsessed about having more.

Can He Control his Drinking in the Future?

It is the desire of every person that has an addiction that they can “get it under control” and have an occasional drink.  I am often asked, “will he ever be able to have a drink in the future?”

Think about not eating a potato chip for 4 years, you get your potato chip addiction under control.  What would happen to you after a 4 year potato chip hiatus?  Would it taste the same?  Would your desire for more immediately come back.

Think about how miserable you would be if you forcibly allowed yourself only 1 potato chip a day?  I know that I would spend an inordinate amount of my day thinking about that one chip, almost drooling for it and looking forward to it all day long.  I would eat 1 chip, and I would want more.  In fact 1 chip sounds awful to me, I would be short tempered after my 1 chip, snapping at people in displeasure.  My cravings for more chips would be all that was on my mind.

It wouldn’t take me long to figure ways around my 1 chip rule, I would stop by 7-11 and eat a bag of chips in the car, I would sneak some out of the bag in the house, I would lie to my spouse about eating extra chips.  It wouldn’t take me long before I was eating way more than one chip a day.

Want Some Chips?

What are your thoughts right now?  Has reading this triggered a craving for potato chips in you? If you went to a grocery store right now, would you be more or less likely to buy chips?  Will you think about chips as you go to sleep tonight?

 

About Adam Banks

Adam Banks is a certified interventionist and the owner of Adam Banks Recovery. After receiving an MBA from the University of Chicago, Adam built a company acquired by United Health Care. His discipline and attention to detail come from his former career as an airline pilot, holding an ATP, the FAA’s highest license.

Today, Adam is dedicated to helping others achieve long-term sobriety. His work has guided executives, pilots, and physicians on paths to recovery. Adam brings families together through a loving and inclusive approach. Adam has authored four books on addiction. His recent work, Navigating Recovery Ground School: 12 Lessons to Help Families Navigate Recovery, educates families on the entire intervention process. He also offers a free video course for families considering an intervention for a loved one.

Adam is available for alcohol and drug intervention services in New York, Long Island, and the Hamptons as well as nationally and internationally.

The Other Crisis

A woman thinks about a problem next to a window.

 

It is easy to identify a family’s primary crisis, the addicted person. We know that they are on a path of destruction and they have likely caused significant damage prior to an intervention. Underneath the damage lies a secondary crisis. 

Forms of a Secondary Crisis

  • Retired parents spend limited money to help their adult child; paying the mortgage, rent or giving an allowance.
  • Abuse or theft towards elderly parents by an addicted person (AP).
  • Spouse/partners lying to “cover up” what is actually going on in the home.
  • Spouse/partner that has been isolated from family, or family has been turned against the healthy spouse that is doing their best.
  • Stressed out partner effectively raising children alone to “keep it all together.”
  • Child Protective Services involvement.
  • Financial problems of the AP and their family, money is missing or not going to the family as a whole.
  • Intense arguing in a couple, yelling and possibly safety issues.
  • Children having enough emotional intelligence to understand that one of their parents is acting weird.
  • Adult children that argue with their parents about how to handle an addicted sibling.
  • Adult children that no longer have a relationship with a parent that is addicted.
  • Parents that spend time worrying and arguing about the addicted person.

The family desperately wants to fix the primary crisis of getting their loved one sober. The AP is a wildcard; we don’t know if or when they will choose recovery. However, we can start to fix the secondary crisis immediately. This will bring the family recovery no matter what the AP decides. 

Consider how much time and energy the family spends talking about the AP.  We often hear from a concerned parent, “It’s all I can think about.” Collectively the family can identify the problem, but they often overlook the negative effects that the addiction is having on themselves.

The first step in solving the secondary crisis is to begin practicing “detachment.” Addiction is a tornado that sucks in everything around it. Detachment is the process of stepping out of the path of the tornado and helping the family find shelter. Remember, The AP’s mess is not your mess and you will not stop it by confronting it on your own. 

Alcoholics Anonymous

Al-Anon, a mutual-help group for people with alcoholic friends or family members, pioneered the idea of detachment with love. Most Al-Anon meetings begin with this reading:

“Detachment is neither kind nor unkind. It does not imply judgment or condemnation of the person or situation from which we are detaching. Separating ourselves from the adverse effects of another person’s alcoholism can be a means of detaching: this does not necessarily require physical separation. Detachment can help us look at our situations realistically and objectively.

Alcoholism is a family disease. Living with the effects of someone else’s drinking is too devastating for most people to bear without help. In Al-Anon we learn nothing we say or do can cause or stop someone else’s drinking. We are not responsible for another person’s disease or recovery from it. Detachment allows us to let go of our obsession with another’s behavior and begin to lead happier and more manageable lives, lives with dignity and rights, lives guided by a Power greater than ourselves. We can still love the person without liking the behavior.”

Al Anon teaches us: 

  • Not to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people
  • Not to allow ourselves to be used or abused by others in the interest of another’s recovery
  • Not to do for others what they can do for themselves
  • Not to manipulate situations so others will eat, go to bed, get up, pay bills, not drink, or behave as we see fit Not to cover up for another’s mistakes or misdeeds
  • Not to create a crisis
  • Not to prevent a crisis if it is in the natural course of events

Detaching with Love

By learning to focus on ourselves, our attitudes and well-being improve. We allow the alcoholics in our lives to experience the consequences of their own actions. Families must allow the AP to learn from their mistakes in order to detach with love. This includes taking responsibility for ourselves and how we handle our loved ones’ addiction. 

In the end, it will be up to the AP to choose recovery. The first step can only be made with their willingness. When we stop trying to control the AP, we let go of the secondary crisis and allow our loved one to choose recovery on their own. 

With this perspective, we can see that detachment with love introduces the possibility of a better life to the addict. When they see their family take accountability, and realize their options have run out, they are more likely to follow suit. 

Families who drop the secondary crisis and detach with love will feel a major weight lift from their shoulders. There is a deep sense of burden being removed because the family is now responding with a collective choice, rather than an anxious enablement for the addiction. Removing emotional reactions allows us to meet the AP where they are, with love and understanding. The key to a successful intervention is to stop being responsible for the addicted person. Instead we must be responsible to both them and ourselves. 

 

About Adam Banks

Adam Banks is a certified interventionist and the owner of Adam Banks Recovery. After receiving an MBA from the University of Chicago, Adam built a company that was later acquired by United Health Care. His discipline and attention to detail comes from his former career as an airline pilot, holding an ATP, the FAA’s highest license.

Today, Adam is dedicated to helping others achieve long-term sobriety. His work has guided executives, pilots, and physicians on paths to recovery. Adam brings families together through a loving and inclusive approach.

Adam has authored four books on addiction. His recent work, Navigating Recovery Ground School: 12 Lessons to Help Families Navigate Recovery, educates families on the entire intervention process. He also offers a free video course for families considering an intervention for a loved one. 

Adam is available for alcohol and drug intervention services in New York, Long Island, the Hamptons as well as nationally and internationally. 

Inpatient Treatment: Common Concerns

Inpatient Treatment: Common Concerns

I can’t go to rehab because…

I work with many people struggling from addiction. Some people need to kick start their recovery and going the in-patient treatment route is often the best option. However, it often comes with common concerns. In-patient treatment or rehabilitation offers a month away to detoxify in a safe environment.

While a 30-day program is often the recommended choice, it is also a very difficult decision to make. Jumping out of life for 30 days is not easy, but the benefits of a strong foundation for recovery that can change behavior for a lifetime is often worth the trade off.

 “I don’t have time to go to rehab, I have to work”

Time away is a very real concern. Entering an inpatient rehabilitation program is essentially pausing a month (or more) of one’s life.  One might be resistant to the idea of having to be away from work or their families, however addiction takes steals time from families and from work. 

People often lose several hours in a day, if not entire days, when under the influence. Once in recovery people find that they have much more time to dedicate to passions, family, and work. Taking 30 days away might give someone 5 extra hours a day – for the rest of his or her lives.

“I can’t afford to go to rehab”

Treatment is expensive. There are many rehabilitation centers that are cash based or not covered by one’s insurance. However, there are many good programs that are covered by insurance. 

In order for a treatment plan to be successful it must be affordable, and luckily there are several low cost or in-network facilities. A good first step when considering an inpatient program is to determine what one’s insurance benefits are, and contact a local rehab program that is covered.  

It’s important to note that, in the long run, addiction costs more than treatment does. It is common to see people spending hundreds of dollars a day to keep up with their addiction. By multiplying the direct costs of one’s addiction by the number of days in a year can help put the expense of treatment into perspective. The costs aren’t just financial. One may miss opportunities at work, destroy relationships with loved ones, or experience legal troubles due to their addiction.  

The Four Horsemen of Addiction: Shame, Fear, Pride, Embarrassment

When someone first considers treatment one might feel ashamed or embarrassed. Admitting one has a substance use problem, and seeking help from others can make one feel exposed. However, recovery is never done alone.

It is important to meet other people who have also decided to seek help for addiction. Addiction is isolating, and rehab allows for new connections to be made between people in recovery. These connections are important because a support system is formed from them, which reduces the chances of someone relapsing.  

The idea of in-patient care can seem daunting, however in some cases it is the best option for someone’s journey towards recovery. When talking to someone about rehab try to discuss why they are resistant to the idea of a more intensive program, and gently remind them that no matter what reason they come up with to avoid rehab addiction will always be the more difficult choice in the long run.   

 

About Adam Banks

Adam Banks is a certified interventionist and the owner of Adam Banks Recovery. After receiving an MBA from the University of Chicago, Adam built a company acquired by United Health Care. His discipline and attention to detail comes from his former career as an airline pilot, holding an ATP, the FAA’s highest license.

Today, Adam is dedicated to helping others achieve long-term sobriety. His work has guided executives, pilots, and physicians on paths to recovery. Adam brings families together through a loving and inclusive approach. Adam has authored four books on addiction. His recent work, Navigating Recovery Ground School: 12 Lessons to Help Families Navigate Recovery, educates families on the entire intervention process. He also offers a free video course for families considering an intervention for a loved one.

Adam is available for alcohol and drug intervention services in New York, Long Island, the Hamptons as well as nationally and internationally.

How Pre-flight Planning and Intervention Are Related

How Pre-flight Planning and Intervention Are Related

I liken my approach to addiction interventions to that of getting an airplane ready to fly. Just as a pilot must exhaust a list of external factors in order to fly successfully, a successful intervention requires just as much forethought.

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