Family Intervention: Changing the Manager
The process of intervention is an opportunity for the family to come together and manage the addiction in a proactive way. For years, families respond to the chaos of addiction. Intervention is the opportunity for a family to look at that pattern and determine how they will handle future situations.
The addicted person is “getting away” with poor behavior because they are able to escape the consequences. The addicted person is not fully aware of the effects of their substance use. The person of concern might say things like, “it’s my life, I can do whatever I want” or “I am only hurting myself, why do you care?” They don’t understand or see the destruction of their paths, the extent of how it’s harming them and those who care about them.
Clear and Effective Action
Only your loved one can make the decision to change. In a family intervention, we clearly give them an opportunity. This decision to use is met with clearly defined consequences. We hope that these defined consequences will help them understand how deeply their addiction is affecting the people around them.
Accountability
Prior to intervention, each family member will take time to define their agreements or establish boundaries. In a family of 4, three people are responding differently and they are left to uphold their own boundaries. Coming together on one unified front leaves less room for the person with addiction to get away with poor behavior.
Fairness
Both sides will have an opportunity to express themselves, this is not a confrontation. A fair path forward is defined when both sides understand each other. In family interventions we are changing the manager to allow a two conversation.
No Secrets
No one has the story straight when it comes to addiction, because that’s how addiction thrives. While parents talk to each other, siblings and friends keep secrets, some knowing more than others when it comes to the person of concern’s use. Intervention blows up the secretive hiding spots of addiction and gets the truth out in the open so all parties can begin to heal.
Consensus
A path of recovery, or a path of continued use has to be acceptable to both sides. It’s common to see the person of concern choosing a path of least resistance to recovery, a path seldom acceptable to the family. Without formal intervention, addiction buffalos the family into accepting this path which is unfair and often, ineffective. Intervention allows the family to express what they need from the person of concern, the process they expect adherence to and what accountability to that process looks like.
Board of Directors
Prior to intervention, each member of the family is left to figure out what to do on their own. Intervention breaks the cycle of each person left to manage on their own, and establishes a process for all affected to have a say and to help each other manage the cycle of addiction and recovery.
Trust the Process
The title, Family Intervention: Changing the Manager relates intervention to big projects. Everyone comes together to execute tasks related to a common goal. Recovery is a process. Therefore, intervention is a presentation of the plan.
Just like we learned in high school physics, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Intervention helps everyone to be on the same page and move forward with both sides understanding what life looks like if recovery is chosen and what life will look like if continued use is chosen. By defining consequences, we are changing the manager. The family is in charge, not the other way around.
About Adam Banks
Adam Banks is a certified interventionist and the owner of Adam Banks Recovery. After receiving an MBA from the University of Chicago, Adam built a company acquired by United Health Care. His discipline and attention to detail comes from his former career as an airline pilot, holding an ATP, the FAA’s highest license.
Today, Adam is dedicated to helping others achieve long-term sobriety. His work has guided executives, pilots, and physicians on paths to recovery. Adam brings families together through a loving and inclusive approach.
Adam has authored four books on addiction. His recent work, Navigating Recovery Ground School: 12 Lessons to Help Families Navigate Recovery, educates families on the entire intervention process. He also offers a free video course for families considering an intervention for a loved one.
Adam is available for alcohol and drug intervention services in New York, Long Island, the Hamptons as well as nationally and internationally.
