All I Want Is For Them to Stop Drinking

All I Want Is For Them to Stop Drinking

Just Stop Drinking

When I’m speaking with a family member before an intervention, the caller typically says, “All I want is for them to stop drinking.” I respond, “Are you sure that’s all you want?” The caller thinks about it for a second, and usually responds with a list of things that they also want. “Well, I want them to get a job, and move out of the house, and get rid of their friends, and …”

The caller doesn’t just want the person to stop drinking. They want an entirely new life for the person they’re concerned about. New lives don’t happen overnight, and that’s why my interventions are lasting engagements.

Covering All The Bases

An intervention is not just a quick meeting, something sprung on an individual that ends with them shipped off to rehab. A proper intervention takes time. Sure, a person may become willing to enter treatment through just one meeting, but then what? What’s the plan for re-entry? How will they cope with leaving their old life behind? Or with starting a new one?

Families often want a lot more than for someone to “just stop using.” New lives take time to build. There will be ups and downs along the way. The family will need to learn to support someone in the process of changing, and the individual will need a lot of support as they take slow steps to build a new way of living.

When considering an intervention or coaching, ask yourself these questions.

  • Is drug or alcohol use the only problem that I see that needs to be fixed?
  • Is the individual living at home? Do I want them to move out?
  • Is the individual honest about their whereabouts?
  • Is the individual stealing?
  • Is the individual dangerous to the family?
  • Is the individual a good parent?
  • Does the individual have legal problems?
  • Do you like the people that the individual spends time with?
  • How is the individual doing in school or at work?

If there are several issues that you want to “fix,” it will take some time to work with the individual. They have a heavy lift in front of them and they will need support from the family for a period of time. Ultimately, there must be a six-month plan in place for the person to have a successful recovery.


About Adam Banks

Adam Banks is a certified interventionist and the owner of Adam Banks Recovery. After receiving an MBA from the University of Chicago, Adam built a company acquired by United Health Care. His discipline and attention to detail comes from his former career as an airline pilot, holding an ATP, the FAA’s highest license.

Today, Adam is dedicated to helping others achieve long-term sobriety. His work has guided executives, pilots, and physicians on paths to recovery. Adam brings families together through a loving and inclusive approach. Adam has authored four books on addiction. His recent work, Navigating Recovery Ground School: 12 Lessons to Help Families Navigate Recovery, educates families on the entire intervention process. He also offers a free video course for families considering an intervention for a loved one.

Adam is available for alcohol and drug intervention services in New York, Long Island, the Hamptons as well as nationally and internationally.

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